
It’s so easy to give advice to people who talk about themselves negatively.
“I’m no good at anything.” “Yes you are! You are awesome!”
“Nobody cares about me.” “Everyone loves you! C’mon!”
“I suck.” “You don’t suck! Quit saying that!”
Surely everyone at some point in their lives has said or thought negative thoughts about themselves.
Sometimes they are just quick thoughts like “I can’t believe I’m going to get a $350 speeding ticket. I SUCK!”
Other times it’s more serious things like “I just detonated a thermonuclear weapon on my neighbors ass just because he left grass clippings in my driveway. I suck.”
Yes, yes you do suck actually. But I digress.
Seriously, the least effective way to solve any problem is to sit around slamming yourself. Especially if you unleash an unholy atomic end of days on someone simply because their grass catcher has a hole in it. Man, you are out of reach. Chill!
For the rest of us, it’s simply a matter of reminding ourselves of the reality and dismissing the fantasy of whatever situation we are in.
Here are three easy ways to feel better about yourself.
1) Don’t over dramatize issues.
Like the above Manhattan Project example, there are some things that happen in life that can’t be overdramatized. Serious illness, unexpected death (although even expected death is a serious bummer), family issues, etc.
But in most cases, every day life is pretty banal.
So why waste oodles of energy on drama for the every day mundane challenges that effect each of us at some point or another?
Here’s a tip. If you get a flat tire. Say “I got a flat tire.” Instead of “I just got a freaking flat because the freaking moron in front of me stopped to quick and I hit the sidewalk. Now my car is screwed up and out of alignment, mu groceries went flying and I missed Survivor. I hate this city!”
2) React to things as if you are on stage in front of 1,000,000 people holding Flip cameras recording for a massive You Tube upload.
I have always believed that if we all had to go home each day and watch a thirty-minute video summary of our day we would all act much much different. I probably would not wear Carhart jeans as often as I do. Thankfully, we don’t have to do that.
If you were being recorded all day and part of living life in these United States meant that you had to watch your sorry ass moving about through the day, would you suddenly spend a little more time working on your personal presentation? Would you like to see video of yourself freaking out at the sandwhich shop because the pickle juice leaked onto the bread? Or how about the weird way you twist your face around when you are describing someone you don’t like all that much?
I wouldn’t like to see that movie.
3) Just quit freaking out over every stupid thing
Clearly this is the most easily understood method of all three of these “ways to freak out less”.
Seriously, take a look around for Pete’s sake. I’ll bet you are a mere five to ten feet away from someone who has it much much worse than you. It’s not that the things that are bothering you are not important. It’s just that they are not all CONSUMING important. In fact, when you look around you may see someone who could actually use a hand with something. And, helping that person would make you feel better too.
I once asked someone I know who was CONSTANTLY involved in some stupid, mundane, yet personally damaging drama; “Do you really want to be the person that people see out in a restaurant or a store and point to and say “There’s that lunatic from (fill in school, work, gym class, etc.)?”
The answer of course was “No.” Although who knows.
Either way. Point made. If you are someone running around with your hair on fire and your arms waving about like a clown with fleas in his jumper, and you are running around like this every day…people are noticing and you are making people uncomfortable.
Plus, hey, you are a pretty nice person at your core right? I mean, you are pretty cool, you care about life, you love your Mom…you know stuff like that.
Right?
So it might help to chill out a little bit. Take a deep breath. Hit the treadmill for an hour and sweat out the freak out.